When I was a child I had a friend. My friend had a weird uncle! The guy was creepy, weird, scary and did the crazy things that uncles do in crazy times. We avoided him like the plague!
Soon, I realized that another of my friends had a weird uncle. I know -- two! What are the odds?
Again, soon, I realized one of my uncles was weird. I was beginning to wonder what was up with uncles.
I began to realize that, as people, we are ALL on the ‘crazy scale!’ Some people are quite strange and some people only slightly strange, but we’re all on the crazy scale.
I think the same is true of the mistakes that we make. Some of us make mistakes that are very light. Some of us make many mistakes that are big! But all of us are on the scale.
Related Post: 5 Truths About Loving Difficult People
What is Grace?
The word “grace” is often misunderstood. Grace can mean someone who extends courteous goodwill to another, it can also mean elegance in movement, and it’s even used as an idiom to describe a short prayer before a meal. But when we’re defining God’s grace towards us as people, this sort of grace is a free, unmerited gift that bestows blessing and salvation on us – even when we don’t deserve it. So if we’re giving someone grace, we’re giving them forgiveness, blessing, or favor that they don’t deserve. We choose to offer them that grace despite what they’ve done to us.
What Does it Mean to Give Grace?
If you’ve ever wondered what it means to give someone grace, you’re not alone. So many of us are confused about the concept of giving grace because few of us have experienced grace ourselves. Giving someone grace means we extend forgiveness, blessing, or acceptance to someone who may not deserve it. This is easier said than done! As we learn to follow God better and turn to His Word to lead us, we become more like Him and are able to give grace to those we’re in relationship with.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32
We All Need Grace
We all need grace! We all need grace and forgiveness from God. We all need grace and forgiveness from each other. The great thing is that, because God is love, He has lots of grace to go around!
Since God has grace on us we also should have grace for one another. And as we grow as people and see our own need of grace it should be easy for us to see, and to give grace to others.
We Need Grace in Our Relationships
In my family, I pray for relationships all the time. Whenever several people with different personalities need to coexist, it’s necessary to have grace.
Giving Grace to Your Spouse:
Giving grace in relationships, especially grace to a significant other, can be difficult. Thankfully, as we follow our humble leader, Jesus, we are able to better love our spouse and give grace to one another in marriage. Giving grace in marriage can look like:
- Choosing not to nitpick or nag your spouse over little things.
- Trading a hypercritical eye for a perspective that assumes the best of your spouse. (Matthew 7:3)
- Choosing patience towards your significant other.
- Choosing to believe the best about your spouse.
- Treating your spouse the way you desire to be treated. (Luke 6:31)
Related Post: How Do I Know If We Should Get Married
Assume the Best Intentions of Other People
We tend to judge ourselves based on our good intentions, but judge others on their actions. However, we should try to assume other people’s best intentions.
In other words, when we get hurt, we can’t immediately assume the other person was trying to hurt us. Instead, we need to think of that person and the situation that were in, within the context that they love us. Would they deliberately and intentionally try to hurt you?
It's like the five word sentence: “I didn't kick my brother.”
It can mean all sorts of things!
First, focus on the word “I.” I didn't kick my brother. (I watched somebody else kick my brother!)
Second, “didn't.” I didn’t kick my brother. (I pinched him, pulled his hair, and punched him in the arm.)
Third, “kick.” I didn’t kick my brother. (I beat him up, but none of that was by kicking him.)
Fourth, “my.” I didn't kick my brother. (I kicked my friend’s brother!)
Fifth, “brother.” I didn’t kick my brother. (I kicked my sister!)
The sentence, “I didn’t kick my brother” can mean a variety of things!
It’s so easy to miscommunicate our intentions. It's so easy to assume bad things about how others have treated us. But often, it’s not true.
Treat Others How You Want to be Treated
When we’re in relationship with other people, we need to try and do as Jesus said. He said to treat others like we want to be treated.
He did not say to treat others as they have treated us! So if someone did us wrong - even if it was on purpose - we should treat them the way we want them to treat us.
This takes a lot of grace.
As we see ourselves in need of grace because of our mistakes, we should have lots of room in our hearts for others’ mistakes.
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. -Proverbs 19:11
Let us pray to God for grace for our mistakes. Let us love other people the way we want to be loved.
I really believe it's true that whatever a person sows, that is what they're going to reap. So give grace! It can come back around for us.
